I saved the dessert post until the end of this series–it just seemed fitting. 🙂
The principles in this post may not directly help a child overcome picky eating, but I do think they can help kids develop a good relationship with food. In our home, everyone gets dessert, no matter what or how much they ate at dinner time. I take that approach because I want time spent at our table to be pleasant for everyone, and I don’t want to teach my kids that any kind of food is a reward. I also want them to learn to enjoy sweets in moderation.
Dessert Isn’t a Reward
Eating healthy food isn’t the miserable price you have to pay to get a treat. Food, whether it’s savory or sweet, should be something to explore and (hopefully) enjoy with the people you love, no matter what food-trying-loving-hating stage you’re at. I don’t want my kids thinking about how much dinner they have to choke down to earn dessert. I want them to focus on trying new flavors, enjoying familiar ones, and feeling satisfied as they eat wholesome food and talk with their family.
Dessert should be a positive family gathering too, not a sad affair where someone is being punished because they couldn’t stand to eat what I served for dinner. I was a kid once too. I know sometimes they just can’t stand to eat something that seems really gross or weird to them.
The first time my parents took me to a Chinese restaurant, I tried all of the dishes they selected for us, but I couldn’t bear to finish any of them. I didn’t want to waste all that food, but the flavors were so unfamiliar to me that eating them felt overwhelming. I’ve since learned to love dishes with soy sauce, ginger, and sesame oil, but it took me a few tries to get there, and I don’t want to punish my kids if they’re still working their way through that process with a certain food.
Won’t Dessert Trump Dinner?
Do I worry that my kids will just nibble at dinner, hoping to fill up on dessert afterward? Not really. For one thing, we usually serve dessert an hour after dinnertime. A hungry child (who hasn’t eaten since snack time a few hours earlier) probably won’t want to wait that long if there are three or four kinds of food sitting right in front of him at dinner. For another thing, dessert at our house tends to be rather small–just a little something yummy to share together at the end of the day. It’s not likely that a child will skip dinner hoping that a couple cookies will fill his tummy.
Is this approach to dessert the best one there is? Maybe. Our dessert routine has evolved over the years, and it could very well change again. For now, it’s the best way I’ve found to teach my kids that it’s OK to enjoy something sweet now and then, that dessert is a simple pleasure not a reward, and that our table is a place to share good food with people we love.
Want more ideas to get kids eating healthier? Check out the rest of the posts in this Adventurous Eater series:
7 Ways to Get Kids Eating Healthier (the intro to this series)
