Thursday used to be the day when my kids didn’t eat their dinner. It wasn’t that I didn’t cook dinner; they just didn’t eat much of it. Why? My oldest son and I had to leave for his choir practice at 6pm, so I served dinner an hour after my kids ate their after-school snack. Their tummies were still half full from snack time, so they weren’t eager to eat (or sometimes even try) their dinner.
When I realized what was going on, I informed my kids that we wouldn’t be having an after-school snack on Thursdays anymore (at least until choir practice ended for the school year). There was some initial grumbling, but everyone soon got used to the new routine and I noticed a marked increase in Thursday dinner consumption.
Snacking, French Style
We’ve never been a family that snacks much, but after reading French Kids Eat Everything I became much more committed to having just one daily snack, at least two hours before dinner. The French love good food, but they only eat it four times a day, at certain times:
- breakfast around 8:00am
- lunch around 12:00pm
- a substantial snack around 4:00pm
- dinner around 7:00 or 8:00pm.
They take this routine so seriously that birthday parties tend to be scheduled at the afternoon snack time, so a treat can be served without spoiling anyone’s dinner.
Why do the French have such a rigid eating schedule? The answer is partly practical, and partly cultural. Practically speaking, their kids are more likely to eat a wholesome meal if they feel hungry. There’s a saying, “hunger is the best seasoning”–it helps us anticipate and appreciate a good meal. French kids tend to be much less picky than Americans because they’re hungry at mealtime, whereas American kids (who snack four times a day on average, usually on foods that aren’t very healthy) are much pickier because their stomachs are still half full from a recent snack, or they know they can get something tastier from the pantry after lunch has been cleared away.
That said, there’s a difference between hungry and “hangry”–the gnawing, low-blood-sugar, grouchy-because-my-body-desperately-needs-nutrients-it’s-not-getting sort of hunger. French meals tend to be substantial affairs that fill you up for a few hours. After a meal of whole grains, lean protein like fish or lentils, vegetables, fruit, and a little something fatty like cheese or a small dessert, people feel so satisfied that they can easily go four hours between meals without feeling very hungry. When your body has had a delicious, substantial meal, snacking an hour or two later just doesn’t sound that appealing.
A Single, Shared Snack Is Good for the Soul
Culturally, the French believe that snacking isn’t just bad for the body; it’s bad for the soul too. They associate random snacking with a lack of self-control, a desire for instant gratification with something tasty but often unhealthy, rather than waiting until mealtime for something better. Americans lament our culture’s growing demand for instant gratification, yet many of us train ourselves from childhood to reach for a snack the moment we feel a little hungry, rather than waiting for a meal that is better for us and probably more satisfying too. A bag of potato chips may seem appealing in the moment, but which tends to leave you feeling truly satisfied, a hearty meal or a few handfuls of chips?
What’s more, American parents are often tempted to hand our kids a snack to keep them occupied or quiet. Using food as a pacifier works in the short term, but in the long term it may be teaching kids to reach for food every time they’re frustrated or bored. In France, children are expected to exercise patience or find a way to keep themselves occupied without having something to put in their mouth, and the result is kids who tend to be more patient and resilient than their American counterparts. It also probably won’t surprise you that obesity is much rarer in France than in the United States.
The French also discourage random snacking because it tends to be a solitary activity. In France, eating is very social. Most Americans would never consider eating Thanksgiving dinner alone because we feel it is a special time that should be shared with loved ones. In France, they feel that way about every meal, and even their afternoon snack. Food isn’t just fuel for our bodies; it’s a pleasant experience to share with family and friends as you relax and bond. In contrast, standing at the pantry nibbling cookies by yourself seems like a pale shadow of what eating can be.
Our Snack Routine
So, what does all of this look like in our house?
- We have one designated snack time (at 4:10pm, right after school) when people can have a healthyish snack of their choice. It might be a bowl of cereal, a sliced apple, or chips and salsa. I usually make a smoothie to split with my youngest son, who shares my love of anything that comes from a blender. If someone hasn’t bothered to eat a snack by 4:30, they can wait to eat until dinner.
- When one of my kids insists they are truly hungry more than an hour before lunch or dinner, I tell them they can have carrot sticks or dry Cheerios—two things that are wholesome and can take the edge off their hunger without filling them up. If they really are ravenously hungry, they go for the carrots or Cheerios. If they don’t, it means they’ll be fine until mealtime.
- Kids can drink one cup of anything they want at breakfast and dinnertime (we drink water with lunch), and after that they can have water if they are still thirsty. While a drink isn’t exactly a snack, I find that limitless refills of milk or juice have the same negative effect on their dinner consumption. I don’t want them to be thirsty, but I also don’t want them to fill up on their favorite beverage and leave no room for the new dinner recipe they’re not sure they want to sample.
- I try to make mealtimes more about bonding, and less about cramming food in our faces. We don’t start eating dessert until everyone is seated, and if a child finishes dinner early, we expect them to stay at the table and be part of our family’s conversation until Mama or Daddy gets up and puts their dishes away.
I don’t agree with French parents about everything (take, for example, their affinity for mustard and snails), but their philosophy about snacking really resonates with me. From a dietary standpoint, it’s a shame to put a lot of work into cooking a delicious, healthy dinner, only to have your kids nibble at it (or not even try it) because their tummies are already full of the snack they ate an hour ago. From a developmental standpoint, I want to teach my kids to wait for meals (and other things) that are truly nourishing and satisfying, rather than reaching for instant pleasure the moment they kinda sorta want it.
Want more ideas to get kids eating healthier? Check out the rest of the posts in this Adventurous Eater series:
7 Ways to Get Kids Eating Healthier (the intro to this series)
